Tuesday, December 19, 2017

The Toy Museum


Really,  you wonder, how haunted can a doll be?

Very haunted, it turns out.


This is not a bunch of random internet photos--these are all from the same place, the Pollock Toy Museum in London, where I just was at.

In the guidebook inexplicably has a "recommended for children" beanie next to it but that is wrong and insane and, bonus, it is always deserted.

You give the Hermione at the counter your 12 pounds and then go in through a musty red door like it was an episode of Outer Limits.

"Oh would you like to see the toy museum????"

That's normal and not at all something from an anime where a little girls gets folded up like an origami and mailed to hell

The idea of these is really apparently that you drop the doll in the river and it washes away bad luck 
These aren't aliens.

Top Middle is totally not made of pig grease and betrayal
That is what a reasonable person does.
Not at all the queen of any damned
This bell jar was not created in 1903 by theosophists and does not have ectoplasmic containment properties
Mr Stripes is a delightful cycling cat and not going anywhere bad on his Omen/Saw trike

This is totally not the corner where bad children go


Why does this museum exist?
Left horse is totally not Linda Blair
The plasmic ghoul from the Medusa House in Vornheim is not sitting at that back table
Ha, he has fallen, it is comical
Mother what is in the chest mother?
YET NO OTHER MUSEUM WANTED ERIC DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT WHY?
Totally not a cannibal child

Ah, a charming souvenir

Oh hey the devil
Fuck.

5 comments:

scrap princess said...

This is a far-enough-away-place that you may see the true faces of children

DazzleEngine said...

It’s no surprise that the people who played with these grew up to invent poison gas, trench warfare, fascism, communism and putting lead in petrol.

Unknown said...

I suspect no one wanting "the world's oldest known teddy bear" is that the Smithsonian has one two years older – and theirs doesn't look like it stands at the foot of your bed to watch while you sleep. http://americanhistory.si.edu/collections/search/object/nmah_491375

Black Vulmea said...

. . . can't sleep . . . dolls will eat me . . . can't sleep . . . dolls will eat me . . . .

LanceToth said...

Your eyeless face is kinda creepy too.