Once upon a time there was an adult film actress who played Dungeons & Dragons.
This woman had a sister who lived in a far-off land. She was not wealthy, but she was a beautiful and kindly soul.
So, as the holidays approached, the kindly sister thought to purchase for the actress a set of brank spanking new clear thermoset-plastic dice.
So she travelled then to her local hobby shop and pointed to some dice in a little box.
"30 bucks," said the man.
Now, these were not dice made from cut glass, these were not dice made using resin poured from the head of King David, these were not even some fancy-ass Lou Zocchi Gamescience dice, these were just standard-issue translucent Chessex dice, which all good-hearted folk retail for about 4.99$.
But the sister was innocent, and knew not the ways of gamers or the price of their specialized equipment. "Who am I?" thought she, "to question the price of a stocking stuffer?"
And so 30$ did she plunk down.
Moral of the story:
I want this guy's head.
Now, a lot of times I read stories from girl gamers about how fucked-up they're treated by the Prego-stained basement-spawn that still apparently infest this hobby and, although I believe them (they have no reason to lie), I often find them hard to believe.
Like who are these assholes? I can understand some gamers maybe not being used to having girls around, but what kind of misogynistic masturbator actually doesn't even want them around?
Some dickhead at some shop counter somewhere saw this girl coming and thought--"Here is a pretty girl who is new to the hobby, should I:
A) Make her feel welcome and show her I am a cool and accomodating guy and maybe even, if all the signals are good, see if I can't flirt a little? Or...
B) Try to steal 25 dollars from her becuase I'm guessing I can since she's a girl."
Hey dude, you were right. You were totally right, it was worth the risk--she didn't call your bluff and now you can almost afford that chainmail codpiece you're dying to LARP in. Awesome.
You are also the reason people hate this game and the reason so many people in this hobby can't get laid. People like you make the world worse for gamers and would-be gamers everywhere. And if I don't get a check and a hasty apology in response to the e-mail I sent you very soon, you will be famous on the internet for it. Which, hey, may not sound like much, but I'm pretty sure the internet's where you live.
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